Today I bought a new door mat for the front door. A rather ho-hum type of purchase but a symbolic one for me to welcome potential buyers when we come to put the house on the market. I wonder, will people appreciate the detail we went into when planning and designing our home, or will they not care that all that the handles in the house all match or the tiles are laid on a diagonal on the floor (which costs more to lay than a simple straight pattern)? Will they appreciate I agonised over the color of the timber blinds in the lounge room because I wanted them to complement the colors and tones of the walls and carpets? Or will they come in and criticise my taste in furnishings or notice the little dents in the walls where the kids have bumped into the walls with their toys?
I love my home but I simply want more yard space for my children to run around in. I want them to whoop and yell and simply be kids, without fear of them disturbing the neighbours. I want them to create their own adventures outside and climb trees and dig in the dirt. I want chickens and lots of vegetable gardens and fruit trees. I want a sense of freedom when I walk outside, where I can't hear the neighbour's television over the distant traffic sounds and hear when the next-door neighbour flushes the toilet. I want to hear birds, the gentle rush of the leaves in the trees blowing in the wind. I want my own "Hillbilly Road" as John Williamson sings about. Warren H. Williams' 'home in the bush'. I want a simpler life away from suburbia, it's a gentle longing for something I can't quite pinpoint yet. One day I shall find it. And I know it will come to me while sitting around a campfire somewhere, staring at the embers trying to figure it all out. But for now, this is my home and I love it and am slowly getting my head around the idea of sharing it with some other family.